The Ups And Downs Of The Married Life (33 Images)

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mattstaff
Aug 31, 2019 10:00 PM EDT

The married life is full of its ups and downs. There's the good and the bad, and a whole lot of the BS (crying kids and sleepless) nights, in between. These tweets manage to capture the emotional rollercoaster in all of its painful glory. 

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  • 01
    married life - Product - Simon Holland Follow simoncholland My wife cleaned the house all day and now we have to go live in a hotel.
    via Squatch65
  • 02
    married life - Text - Rodney Lacroix @mooo000g35 Follow Me: Hey honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? Wife: You have legs. Get it yourself. Me: Our love story should be made into movie.
    via Squatch65
  • 03
    married life - Peafowl - Sassparilla Megatronic13 Follow Peacock: "spreads feathers at me Husband: It's trying to attract you as a mate Me: shyly lifts top* Husband: no
    via Squatch65
  • 04
    married life - Food - eric Follow Gericsshadow my wife and i can't agree on where to eat so this time we're going to her favorite restaurant then next time we'll go to her other favorite restaurant
    via Squatch65
  • 05
    married life - Furniture - mark Follow eTheCatWhisprer My wife can spot me dropping a single crumb anywhere in our house from 50 feet away but her car looks like a Starbucks exploded inside of it.
    via Squatch65
  • 06
    married life - Property - KOHL'S Dan Regan aSocial Mime Follow Wife - We have to go to Kohls today so I can spend my $5 Kohls cash before it expires. Me - I'll give you $10 if I can stay home.
    via Squatch65
  • 07
    married life - Tree - Tracie Tom Follow @tracietom Me watching my husband quietly close the dishwasher after taking just one clean dish out
    via Squatch65
  • 08
    married life - Text - Jon Follow ArfMeasures Wife: There is something wrong with you Me: What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson
    via Squatch65
  • 09
    married life - Text - Boyd's BackyardTM TheBoydP Follow All I'm saying is if we had a dungeon, my wife would decorate it with throw pillows
    via Squatch65
  • 10
    married life - Text - Boyd's BackyardTM OTheBoydP Follow My wife said I can't complain about my bad back if I'm not going to do anything about it so I saw a doctor and now I can't wait to complain
    via Squatch65
  • 11
    married life - Sport venue - NE O 3RD&8 1ST 8:44 10 BUF JPo Follow Peauxtassium WHY WON'T THOSE FOOTBALL PLAYERS LISTEN TO THE EXCELLENT ADVICE MY HUSBAND IS SCREAMING AT THEM? BRD &8 CLE 7 CLE MANZIEL: 1/1, 60 YOS, TD 15 10:28 TEN O
    via Squatch65
  • 12
    married life - Pipe - JPo Follow ePeauxtassium My husband unloaded the dishwasher so I guess now it's time to have a parade for him
    via Squatch65
  • 13
    married life - Vehicle door - Jessie Follow @mommajessiec Me: "parallel parking* Husband: "visibly aging
    via Squatch65
  • 14
    married life - Text - Josh Follow eiwearaonesie me *choking on a piece of popcorn* wife turns the TV up*
    via Squatch65
  • 15
    married life - Text - Oops!..I Dad It Again Follow NewDadNotes Wife: [reaches for the fries on my plate] Me: [slides grocery divider between plates] Wife: you said you didn't take that from the store. Me: and you said you didn't want any fries but here we are.
    via Squatch65
  • 16
    married life - Text - Cameron Esposito Follow acameronesposito i married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored
    via Squatch65
  • 17
    married life - Countertop - SpacedMom ecopymama Follow Marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.
    via Squatch65
  • 18
    married life - Footwear - mark Follow eTheCatWhisprer "How much did that cost?" "I got a good deal on it." -married couples
    via Squatch65
  • 19
    married life - Product - PeneSea Josh Follow iwearaonesie *asks grocery store manager to write a note telling my wife that I looked everywhere but couldn't find the ice cream she wanted Mcu
    via Squatch65
  • 20
    married life - Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Un.. Follow explodingUnicorn Wife: *hoarsely* I'm losing my voice. Me: I guess you can't yell at me anymore. Wife: She's scarier when she's quiet.
    via Squatch65
  • 21
    married life - Text - Mommy Jeerist Mommy jeerist Follow Three months. That's how long my husband stood by and watched me water a fake plant.
    via Squatch65
  • 22
    married life - Fashion accessory - KEVIN W KORPI Follow ekwkorpi Me: [boiling water] Wife: No, not like THAT!
    via Squatch65
  • 23
    married life - Text - Cydni Beer Follow @cydbeer Husband "I thought you were dieting?" Me "I am" Husband "You just ate 6 Oreos" Me "Yes but I want to eat 12. See Dieting"
    via Squatch65
  • 24
    married life - Text - Boyd's BackyardTM TheBoydP Follow Can't, I'm in big trouble with the wife. She asked me to pick up some grated parmesan but I got shredded parmesan.
    via Squatch65
  • 25
    married life - Text - Jessie Follow @mommajessiec Him: I'm feeling under the weather. DATING: I'm so sorry. That stinks ENGAGED: I will nurse you back to health with chicken soup and cuddles. MARRIED: *sprays him with lysol
    via Squatch65
  • 26
    married life - Text - The Dadvocate Follow @thedadvocate01 Wife: IT'S OVER! GET OUT! Me: Ok, good luck killing spiders Wife: Wait
    via Squatch65
  • 27
    married life - Text - Dan Fallow edadopotamus My wife just asked me to build a new deck like I'm Jesus or something
    via Squatch65
  • 28
    married life - Text - sophielou Follow @sophielou After many heart to heart talks my husband and I have decided at this stage of our marriage to go ahead and get separate tubes of toothpaste
    via Squatch65
  • 29
    married life - Text - OldCardigan Follow MizzusT First year married: I want to spend every moment with you All other years: maybe you could move into your own house
    via Squatch65
  • 30
    married life - Text - Jack Boot Follow @lamJackBoot Arm falls off Wife: You don't drink enough water.
    via Squatch65
  • 31
    married life - Road - DPW Follow @pondermymaker (100 miles from exit) Wife: You need to get in the right lane.
    via Squatch65
  • 32
    married life - Nail - The Dad THE BAD Follow ethedad My wife wants to buy an organizer for our wrapping paper, it sounds made up but it's making her happy
    via Squatch65
  • 33
    married life - Text - not the WORST mom Folow @nottheworstmom My husband just cancelled the plans we'd made for tonight without talking to me first and I've honestly never been more turned on in my life
    via Squatch65

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